the air

The weather here has been phenomenal. In the 70s, with a brisk breeze in the mornings. The air is so light and perfect it makes me just want to melt, or evaporate rather. On top of this perfect temperature (like NW summers at thier best) we have the lovely autumn light. Also amazing half-the-sky orange and pink sunsets. It is three o`clock and so quiet here at the library. This seems somehow related to the quality of the air. Dreamlike. I would like to play guitar out front here (the library has guitars!) forever.

This air, as perfect as it is almost makes me anxious. Because it is so lovely I am concerned about squandering it and about how long it may be again before it is like this. This anxiety is I think a holdover from summers growing up, when the 2 and a half months of summer vacation went by so quickly. Of that you could only count on a good month to a month and a half of warm weather like this, and then you were plunged into the inevitably, progessively shorter and darker days that dominated the rest of the year.

I am amazed how much nostalgia I constantly feel here. I get flashbacks from all different times and places in my life, triggered by the most sutble combinations of sounds or smells, or seemingly by nothing at all. I recently realized that my Peace Corps time already has formed an important epoch in my life and will only carve out a bigger share. In due time I will have the same nostalgias and flashbacks of this time and place, as I`m now experiencing exclusively of places very very far away.